Chapter and Lesson #1

Chapter One

 

“The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society – more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.”

Charlotte Perkins Gilman

 

My first Microsoft Job:

My very first job at Microsoft was as a temporary worker or what they had called a “contractor position” it was the year I graduated from College, 1991; I landed a job on the DOS 5.0 sales hotline.  The only reason I got the job was my brother’s x-girlfriend had taken a job at a temporary staffing agency that was placing lots of bodies inside of Microsoft.   Microsoft was growing very fast in those days and frankly could hardly hire people fast enough.  If you had a college degree, a pulse, and could work on the telephone for 8 hours a day, you were pretty much qualified “enough” and you were in.  There may have been a basic typing test involved as well, I have a hard time remembering it all now.  I knew quite a few people who got their start at Microsoft this way over the years.   Many of whom went on to have very successful careers inside the company and out.

It was not a glamorous start.  The specific job I was assigned was taking telephone orders for a new version of DOS, which is short for Disk Operating System.   This particular release of DOS had some new stuff- or “features” as they say in the software business.   The release was notable as it was the first time that Microsoft made an effort to sell an Operating System to retail customers as an upgrade.    So, DOS 5.0 kicked off a big business for Microsoft, selling upgrades of computer operating systems to their installed base of somewhere around 60 Million users at that time.   The installed base of Windows PC’s is in the billions now.

The office park where they set up this temporary sales order desk I was working in was not on the main campus of Microsoft. It was about 3 miles away near downtown Bellevue in a nondescript office park called “Ridgeway Campus”. Microsoft had taken a lease there and occupied 3 of the buildings.   Pretty much all of the employees in these outpost buildings were temporary or contract employees.   They did not officially work for Microsoft.   It was mostly a bunch of young kids in their early 20’s getting a start in the job market.   The only “benefits” offered with the job were free soda and a pretty nicely stocked kitchen with decent snacks.   I remember that pretty well because I was coming off of being a starving student, and while I was only making about $5.50 an hour with no “benefits”, I thought it was great that I could drink a lot of free soda and eat a LOT of free snacks.   For the temps, it was always clear that you were a 2nd class citizen of Microsoft, there were no health benefits, stock options, gym memberships or any of the respect shown to full-time employees, but you did get the free soda and snacks, and the people were generally nice enough.

It was a good place to get some experience in the business world when you were fresh out of college with no real prospects.  The job market in 1990 was not very strong, and it was particularly slow in the Seattle market.  I was just happy to have a job.

My days consisted of sitting in a very small cubicle all day for my 8-hour daily shift. The workspace was really too small to even call it a cube; it was more like one of those long row desks that you see at a library with little privacy walls in-between each sitting area spaced out at about every 3 feet or so.   It was adequate space to get the job done.   And for the most part, it was all young kids who were just out of school and it was not all the different than studying in a crowded library.  Everyone there was just looking to make some money, get some experience and move on.

I, and the group I worked with actually had a lot of fun doing that job.   I remember that we had a script which we had to follow when we answered prospective callers.  We were told to answer the phone saying.  “MS-DOS 5, No PC should be without it!  My name is “Bob” how I can help you!”    To entertain ourselves during the day we would make up fake names and accents when we answered the phone.  The guy sitting next to me was hilarious, he would do an entire call with a very deep southern accent.  He would answer the phone using this long drawn out southern hillbilly sounding accent, “M…S…..D-O-S ..FIVE…, No dang PC should go without it, this is Alligator, how the heck can I help ya!   He would keep it up for several calls in a row.  His hijinks encouraged us all to come up with our own characters.  You would never know who was going to use what character next, it was like a zoo at times.    It was fun having a job where you could have some laughs and goof off a bit.

About half the time the customers calling in had absolutely no clue why they needed or wanted this newfangled DOS 5.0 operating system.  Luckily, we had a script that had some basic features and selling points we could read to persuade these eager callers.   In those days memory constraints were a big deal with PCs.   PCs were not the awesome multifunction devices we think of today, where you can play games, socialize with friends, buy anything on earth etc. etc.  PCs were for serious stuff like watching a green blinking cursor and trying to figure out what bizarre command you could input to make the PC do something interesting.  There were, of course, some programs out there like Word Perfect, Lotus 123, and lots of different business apps for the PC, a big problem people had back in the early PC days was literally running out of RAM memory and the program you were using would just stop working.  So, DOS 5 had a memory saving feature, it also had an undelete feature for the first time, and was the first time that DOS was sold as an upgrade.   This dorky video was made for training salespeople and the retail sales channel.   Watch it for a good laugh…  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmEvPZUdAVI

Funny enough, none of us in this sales group actually had a PC at our desk and almost nobody really had a PC at home in those days.  So, we had pretty limited knowledge of what it was we were actually selling.   Microsoft did provide PC rooms where you could go and learn more about PC’s and the various programs.   That would prove to be very valuable to me as I would spend my break time and time after work playing around with the PC and with various programs, as I was naturally curious about how things worked and figured it would be useful for me to actually know what it was I was trying to sell.   I learned some pretty decent PC skills in those labs, and it turned out to be very valuable later on as my career started to blossom.

Oddly, none of us had PC’s at our workstations, PC’s were still very expensive, and networking them together in a meaningful way was just starting to take off.  So, while we were on the phones we used paper forms to fill out orders as they came in, and we read our sales scripts straight off of good old-fashioned paper.   At the end of the day, we would pile up all the orders we had taken and put them into a big bin, where somebody would plug them into a PC and I never knew what happened after that… To me, the day was done, there was no homework, no stress thinking about the next day, no worries, I just clocked out, and went home to have fun, play a game of tennis, or do something fun with friends.  There was no evening email to check, and there was no sense of things “piling” up at the office while you were away.  It was a nice way to live.  Even if I was still living like a poor college student.

The DOS 5 job was a short-term assignment, it lasted just a few months my first summer out of college.  I was offered a fulltime job at the end of that contract to work at Microsoft’s inside sales call center.  Incredibly and stupidly, I declined the offer, for two reasons.  First, I thought the work was pretty damn boring, so signing up to do inside sales of whatever the next version of DOS was going to have seemed like a great way to kill myself with boredom, even if it was relatively fun and easy, I could not imagine signing up for 2-3 years of that kind of work.  Second, I had another offer on the table for a couple thousand dollars more, and I wanted to buy a car!  Microsoft offered stock options, but I thought those things sounded like total bullshit!  J  In my idiotic view, I needed some cash now for a new ride!  So, I took a competing job at a small airplane parts manufacturer in South Seattle and proceeded to waste about 2 years of my life selling specialized plane tools to airplane manufactures and airline repair shops.    It was a bad move, of which there were others to follow…

Learning Lesson #1 – For those who are early in career – Always think long-term when making a job choice!   The best thing you can do is find an early stage growing dynamic company, start anywhere they will have you, & create your own luck by working hard & being at the right place at the right time.    For my part, I could have listened to the many people who gave me this same advice, but I first chose a less than mediocre company that was going nowhere so I could make a few extra bucks in the short term.  THAT WAS A DUMBASS MOVE!  And it probably cost me several hundred thousand dollars in lost opportunity and stock options!!  Uhgg!