I live in an area where there are a lot of Mormons, they are generally pretty nice people. They tend to sort of keep to themselves. As neighbors, I have found they won’t really talk to you very much. Unless of course, they are coming around on one of their mission walks, in that case, they come right up to your door, they start asking all kinds of pesky personal questions about God and religion, and they become a little bit annoying. Otherwise, they make pretty good neighbors, they keep their lawns up, they don’t play a lot of loud music or have loud parties 🙂 Their kids tend to be well behaved, and they don’t steal any of your shit.
So it was with some surprise when I found the Moviepass bash article of the day to be from non-other than Mormonville USA – the BYU owned and operated “The Daily Universe”! I thought to myself “God dangit now those carrot snappers are going after my Moviepass! And with this headline. “MoviePass struggles as industry evolves” That is about as cold-blooded as nice Mormon folk can get!
Then I thought to myself – they named their paper “The Daily Universe” Really – Universe? Seems a little over the top. But hey – it’s their little cult and they have freedom of speech to say what they want! This is ‘Merica damn it!
The piece whines like a bishop excommunicated going through all the normal stuff, the changes, the app hiccups, the troubled stock – etc.
The author takes a quote from a BYU professor making elegant statements like “I think the idea of subscription was novel and innovative,” BYU professor of marketing and entrepreneurship Gary Rhoads said. “I think MoviePass is going to go under most likely, but now other companies are going to learn from their mistakes and be profitable.”
Dang – I thought to myself. Who is this guy Gary Rhoads? – he must be on top of his game here with Moviepass. So I did a little Googling on the guy, and one thing I found out, Gary is a momo who knows how to jam! Check Gary out as he rips a mean beat to Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild”
Now that is a Mormon marketing genius who knows how to light it UP!!
Hey – I am sure Doc Gary is a super smart guy, and he has a nice resume to prove it! The only thing Gary doesn’t have on his rap sheet is any real-world companies he has created, managed or even worked at. The old axiom of — Those that can’t do – teach – somehow seems fitting here. Or is it, those who can’t do- consult… Wait Gary does both. 2 strikes – he’s out 🙂
OK – then there is this doozy of a quote in the piece.
“When a company stock price drops and stays below $1 for 30 consecutive business days, it’s at risk of being delisted,” said Paul Smart, president of private investment company Smart Capital, Inc.
“In this case, NASDAQ will probably notify HMNY, which is the majority stockholder of MoviePass, and give them 180 days to get their stock price back above $1. MoviePass is going to have to act fast.”
Yeh – we get that, and we also know that this is almost 100% bullshit. The process for delisting is massively long, and there is almost no risk of any delisting happening anytime soon. Que the RS rumors again here!!
I thought it would be fun to find out more about Paul Smart from Smart Capital Inc. But that was not possible with the Google machine. According to Google, there is no Paul Smart from Smart Capital out there. Maybe it is just a dude from the Ward that the writer knows. Who knows, maybe it was a friend of a sister-wife or something. I kid – I know the Mormons don’t have multiple wives anymore.
And that leaves me with my joke of the day.
Q: How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all your beer?
A: Invite another Mormon!